Never hers
by Tilith
Summary: "Sometimes her memories haunted her when she saw the local heroes in the media, but she usually didn't believe the rumors about the changeling and the dark empath, not until today." Tara Markov sees some of her old friends, she pretends she never had, in the street and is reminded of the past. BBRAE and sad Terra.


_Hey dudes and dudettes! Just a little thing that popped up in my head while I heard the song „Never be mine" from Kate Bush. And I had to punish Terra a bit.. I just thought she deserves a little hurt ;-) (Jep, still don't like her much… well, duh!). Enjoy and SMILE!_

**Never hers **

It was a windy autumn afternoon when she saw them together, casually walking down the alley, wearing street clothes, their hands intertwined. He looked dashing with the black coat that hugged his muscular frame and complimented his green skin complexion. The blush on the face of the purple haired girl next to him could be seen across the street as that hair was held by a silver hair pin in the shape of a butterfly she knew all too well. She had given it to him.

It had been a few years since their last encounter when she had determinately turned him down for the umpteenth time. It had been her choice, her only hope to live a happy, carefree and above all normal life, so she had grabbed it. After the heroes that now where commonly known as the Titans, letting the 'Teen' disappear due to their aging process, had defeated a horrible demon, she had been revived with the other humans.

She remembered the pain, the guilt, the shame… She never could become a heroine again, she was certain. So she turned to the one person she hoped would help her getting rid of her powers.

"Are you sure, cutie?" the sorceress with the pink, catlike eyes in slits had asked, checking her from head to toe. They knew each other from the time she had worked for Slade, though the bad luck witch never had shown her any emotion, neither sympathy nor hatred. Their relationship was an indifferent, but Jinx had the power to block her geomancer abilities forever. From then on she had gone by the name of Tara Markov, cutting all ties with her former life. She had re-attended school while working part-time in a grocery store and living in an orphanage, made new friends and saved for college.

It had been difficult chasing those away who mistook her for the heroine she once had been, especially the boy she saw now smiling and joking with another woman. But he eventually had left her alone, even if it took a lot of convincing from her. He had left her and hadn't come back, just like she had asked him to. She never wanted to admit it, but her heart had left with him as well, leaving a cold stone instead inside her chest.

She wouldn't complain, after all she was happy. She was studying geology in Jump City University, had become the junior manager in the grocery store she worked and could afford a small but pretty apartment near her college. She enjoyed her time with her friends without being interrupted by emergency calls, she hadn't to control anything worse than her bills and schedules and she finally felt like she had found herself a home. She was free. But freedom sometimes was lonely.

She still had her memories; even if she had convinced everyone she had none before her thirteenth birthday. They were there to hunt her at night, to console her in moments of doubt, to remind her of her mistakes when she seemed to get too carefree. Memories of friendship, memories of fights, memories of her crimes and of her victories, memories of her blossoming first love and of her betrayal of everyone who ever trusted in her. At least it didn't hurt this much anymore now that she had no more heart, the cold stone inside her chest felt way less stronger emotions.

Sometimes her memories haunted her when she saw the local heroes in the media, but she usually didn't believe the rumors about the changeling and the dark empath, not until today. But there they were, across the street, sharing a chaste kiss, looking at each other in affection. And she just stood there and watched them, completely oblivious to where she had wanted to go before and what she had planned to do. Her chest felt heavy, the stone seemed to grow, taking the space her lungs needed to provide her with oxygen. The thought _that could have been me at his side_ crossed her head, but it was immediately chased by _but I choose to leave him_.

Maybe it was just not her lucky day, because suddenly, while she still tried hard to breathe, the empath turned and met her eyes, pointing it out to the changeling at her side. Two soft smiles were directed at her, two hands, a big green one and a delicate grayish one, waved shyly, before they turned again and continued their stroll down the street. It was cold after all, too cold to stop and talk to a former friend that pretended to not know, never having known them, especially now that raindrops started to fall down. The dark sorceress conjured a black circle above their heads, shielding them from the cold water the clouds sent downwards.

Apparently with the smile and wave of his hand he had sent her back her heart, she mused due to the sudden pain she could feel in her chest. The cold stone was gone but the heart that had returned into her chest was ripped and bruised, the hurt was almost unbearable. As the rain started to pour down on her, she felt grateful for it. Her tears would stay unnoticed for every passerby.

She turned and started to walk slowly back to her apartment, thoughts and memories running through her head. Why had she never believed the gossip about the two? She had been one of the first people to witness their strange relationship as she had met them. The bickering, the constant tension between them, the way he always had tried to make the empath smile or laugh. She had all seen it. But had that been all she had seen?

_If I'm honest with myself, there always had been more,_ she admitted to herself. She had seen their stolen glances when they thought the other wasn't watching. She had seen the longing in both their gazes. She had been a victim of some jealousy the other girl had directed towards her as he had shown his interest in her as the blonde heroine and as well of his jealousy as she had gotten along with the dark sorceress way faster than he was ever. Sure, he had had a crush on her, had gotten along with her, but there always had been times they spent together when he had spaced out and she had been certain he had thought about the other girl at these times. He even had sometimes interrupted her, pushed her out of the way or walked away from her just to greet the empath. And when they had fought against her… hadn't they been very protective of the other? The empath had even threatened her life if she would dare to hurt him… And now they were officially together, it seemed. The smile he had on his face had shown no hint of sadness like it always had had in his younger days, he held his head high, his step had been confident at the side of the purple haired beauty he now apparently claimed his. Why did he look so much happier without her than he ever had with her, even at their best times?

She closed the door of her apartment behind her and sunk down against it, ignoring the tears that ran down her face and the sobs escaping her lips, just feeling the pain her regained heart displayed at the moment.

It was hard to realize that the first boy she had loved never would be hers. Even if she had decided to let him go, to chase him away, to hurt and betray him, it was painful to see him with another woman. She missed him, but there was no going back. Even if there would have been, it would have been futile. He never was and never would be hers.

Beast Boy, now known as 'Changeling', had always and would always belong to Raven, and there was nothing that could change that fact.


End file.
